A New Start – Finding A Deeper Purpose

Hello my fellow readers!

I thought I would get on here and share with you my blogging journey, so far.  

I love a good story.  Especially one that includes hope, struggles and then resolve.  Who doesn’t like a good story that starts off with promise, only to turn into tragedy, and then to end in a climax with the best possible outcome?  I do!  It’s probably why I love the Hallmark channel so much because you always know how each story will end; with a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.

I can’t promise you warm fuzzy feelings, but I can promise you there’s a message of hope. 

I’ll start off my story with the day I launched my blog.  It was January 1, 2019.  This was when I had the courage to finally present my blog to the entire world.  I was nervous because I had been working on my website for the last 6 months, perfecting it and making it look presentable.  I was so worried that I didn’t have it all put together, but I took the leap and launched my blog.

I initially wanted to start a blog because I had a desire to help people.  I wanted to help people by sharing my experience as a mother, a traveler, and a homeschool teacher.  I felt like if I could help someone, I would feel most fulfilled.  I also thought I could turn it into a business.  I’m not going to lie.  That was another strong reason why I wanted to start a blog. 

For the next several months, I would experience the rise and fall of emotions that would eventually cause me to give up.

In the beginning, I set out to write at least one blog post a week.  I did just that!  I was feeling good about myself, even hopeful that maybe this could really work.

That worked for at least the first 3 weeks and then I was distracted with life.  The responsibility of taking care of the needs of a toddler and two older kids, homeschooling, and working from home was overwhelming.  My dream of blogging began to look dimmer and dimmer by the day.

Then, the amount of information out there about blogging was so paralyzing.  I felt like I had so many holes to fix, but not enough understanding or knowledge to even know where to start.  

My own personal demons like guilt, feeling like I was insufficient, and constantly feeling like I couldn’t get my act together to make this blog work really did a number on my emotional health.  I felt like a failure.  I was gradually going down a dark path where I could see no light in sight.

Several months had passed.  I wasn’t even motivated to do anything with my blog.  I just felt obligated to have something up just so I could stay current.  I felt like I was so far behind compared to everyone else.  I had a little pity party.  It wasn’t pretty.

Then in July 2019, I kicked myself in the pants and told myself to put on my “big girl panties”.  I wrote an article about getting back in the saddle.  I set a goal to write 2 blog posts a month.  And I did just that.  

I did this for two months.  I went hard.  I posted on my blog, I reached out to other bloggers to collaborate. I even did a fun collaboration with Bible Belles Book Series.  I emailed them one day and asked if they would be interested in me writing a blog post in exchange for a book collection.  They agreed!  I was so thrilled!  They posted my article to their Facebook page and Instagram page that included 40,000 of their followers combined.

I was on top of the world!

September 2019 came around and I only did one guest post.  Nothing else.  October 2019, I wrote only once.  Such a big disappointment coming from a big win in August.

During that summer, my husband and I were trying to sell a house we flipped in Dallas.  It was a beautiful home.  And the amount of work we put into it had HGTV potential.  We put it on the market in June 2019 and it never sold.  We had one offer, but they offered $60K less than asking price.  It was our only offer.  We were so determined to get what we put into this house, only to stand at the edge of foreclosure.  It was not a good situation.

In the end, we decided to lease the house, keeping us out of foreclosure, but leaving us with a massive amount of debt.  Our marriage was feeling the stress of it all.  I didn’t think we could ever recover from a huge blow like this one.

Blogging was the least of my concern.  We were in survival mode.  When you’re in survival mode, it’s hard to keep the faith and it feels like there’s no hope.

Slowly, my husband and I began to pick up the pieces of the financial mess we made.  We got to the point where we were able to get a few bricks off our chest, but we still have a ways to go.

Through it all, I learned a few things.  

First, I learned that prayer does work.  When we fell to our knees and asked God to help us, he brought us a renter for the house in Dallas.  Our situation could’ve been considerably worse had it not been for God answering our prayer.  

Second, I learned how to deepen my trust in God.  We go through struggles to strengthen our trust and relationship with God.  I had to ask myself, “Do I trust in the promise or the One who gives the promise?”  I chose to trust the One.  

Lastly, I learned to give myself grace.  I felt so driven to build this blog, but when the timing didn’t meet my expectation, I felt like I wasn’t good enough.  The truth is, He is enough, therefore, I am enough. (2 Corinthians 12:9)  Wherever I lack in ability, God’s grace is sufficient.  So, I lean upon His grace daily.  I’m not 100% there yet, but I’m working on it. 

So now it’s March 2020.  Through this blogging journey, I’ve discovered a new purpose, a deeper one.  When I first thought about my blog name, You Are Equipped, I knew I had the name right, but I didn’t seem to be at peace with my purpose.  I thought it would be a blog about helping moms with my experience in travel, homeschooling, and parenting.

But in the last 20 months, I’ve identified something that resonates with me and hopefully with you too.

You Are Equipped exists for moms who need encouragement and affirmation and to know that they are equipped to handle life’s challenges.  It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others and feel like maybe we’re not as qualified or experienced.  Our lives are bombarded with thoughts and false statements claiming that we are not enough or that we fall short in our abilities.  But, that is simply not true.  

You Are Equipped is a declaration and a statement which asserts that despite our weakness and imperfections, with the right mindset and practical resources, we can develop the best version of ourselves and be equipped with whatever task we are presented with.

All along, I’ve been on this journey to recognize how God is equipping me, through His grace, to do the seemingly impossible.  This journey is not over yet.  I know God is going to do amazing things.  I hope you’ll join me!